Zombie Update 2k12

Ohhh, Florida. Just when we think we’re in the clear and...

Wed, 11 Jul 2012 15:52:47 -0400

Ohhh, Florida. Just when we think we’re in the clear and everyone has stopped making fun of us for having the Miami zombie, you go and do something like this. According to a local St. Augustine news station, a naked man (seems to be a trend…) went on a rampage and ended up biting a man’s stomach, ripping out a chunk of flesh. Check out the story and see for yourself!

Excerpt:

“Police officers said they tried to restrain Haughee as he kicked, spit on and tried to bite the officers. The officer used a Taser on Haughee and after five seconds, the report said he stood up and fell or dove over a railing on the porch, hitting his head on the concrete. When he stood up, officers shocked him again. Haughee continued to struggle, biting and spitting on the officers, according to the report.”

P.S. The best part about this story is that police arrested him, and then LET HIM OUT! Apparently zombies are allowed to be bailed out too.

It’s spreading! According to the UK website, DailyMail, a...

Tue, 03 Jul 2012 11:32:00 -0400

It’s spreading! According to the UK website, DailyMail, a woman in China was recently attacked and had her face chewed on by a “drunk” bus driver. Let’s ignore the humorous fact that the zombie’s name is “Dong”, and focus on how he ran into the middle of a busy street and jumped on top of this woman’s car!

Excerpt:

“It was then that Dong started biting Du’s face, leaving her covered in blood and weeping as passers-by tried to pull the attacker off his victim.”

Well crap. According to the Miami Herald the Miami Zombie...

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 17:36:01 -0400

Well crap. According to the Miami Herald the Miami Zombie didn’t have any bath salts in his system at the time of the much publicized attack. Not only does this destroy all the hilarious bath salt memes the internet (and we) have concocted, but it also means that THE MIAMI ZOMBIE IS MAYBE PROBABLY POTENTIALLY VERY LIKELY MIGHT BE A REAL ZOMBIE. Oh darn.

And now the zombie and call me maybe song mashup we’ve all...

Sat, 16 Jun 2012 23:44:25 -0400

And now the zombie and call me maybe song mashup we’ve all been waiting for.

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Fri, 08 Jun 2012 09:46:31 -0400

Stephen Colbert’s take on the zombie apocalypse. Viva la...

Wed, 06 Jun 2012 14:22:40 -0400

Stephen Colbert’s take on the zombie apocalypse. Viva la apocalypse.

While many in the country were blinding themselves by trying to...

Wed, 06 Jun 2012 13:55:00 -0400

While many in the country were blinding themselves by trying to see Venus pass in front of the sun, one man decided to make better use of his time and BITE A CHUNK OUT OF SOMEBODY’S FACE! That’s right, we’ve got another zombie attack, this time in Louisiana.

Excerpt:

During the scuffle, Jacquneaux allegedly bit off “a chunk of Credeur’s face. The latter managed to prevent the former from doing further damage by spraying him in the face with wasp spray.

Guy Acts Like Zombie, Terrorizes Miami

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 12:53:47 -0400

Well this is easily the best video I’ve seen in a while. To test how people would react to a real zombie in Miami YouTuber VitalyzdTV acted like a zombie and terrorized people in Miami for a bit. It’s amazing. Thanks again to Alex for this!

Uncrate, the website for cool gear, recently featured an entire...

Sat, 02 Jun 2012 22:16:24 -0400

Uncrate, the website for cool gear, recently featured an entire article on something they call the ApocalypsePak. Looks like the perfect bug out bag to us.

i have an annonymous or not annonymous question: whats the policy on sex with zombies. like say i capture the victoria secret catalog, get some bleach, and febreze... yeahhhhhhh

Sat, 02 Jun 2012 20:02:41 -0400

Zombie’s don’t sleep: anticipate cuddling.

Is the zombie apocalypse real? Or is everyone just taking this out of context and going batshit insane?

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 19:03:00 -0400

It’s probably about as real as the Mayan prophecy (take that whichever way you choose). In my opinion, it’s just a series of strange coincidences, which could potentially be caused by some kind of more realistic underlying cause. I honestly haven’t completely shut down the idea of zombies though…always ready!

BREAKING NEWS

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 16:15:59 -0400

Gawker is reporting that the CDC is denying any type of Zombie outbreak happening even in the midst of ongoing cannibalistic attacks. Isn’t this how the movies usually start?

Despite the CDC’s reassurance, another case of man-eat-man was reported in Staten Island yesterday, as one diner patron bit off the eat of another customer in the midst of an altercation over which TV channel to put on.

Bubble Boy was on to something (via Doghouse) shout out Alex...

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 16:08:00 -0400

Bubble Boy was on to something (via Doghouse)

shout out Alex for her tips and advertising!

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Fri, 01 Jun 2012 15:45:03 -0400

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Fri, 01 Jun 2012 15:10:00 -0400

Zombies don't respect borders. Why should we?

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 14:41:08 -0400

Good point.

YEEAAAAHHH!!!!

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 11:34:00 -0400

YEEAAAAHHH!!!!

Do you think it's possible for them to get across the border?

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 08:29:00 -0400

Wut?
I guess that all depends…what border are we talking about? Across the Florida border? Already done. Across the northern border into Canada? Already done (Toronto & Sault Ste. Marie) Across the border into Mexico? Eventually.

Gotta be specific, man! The zombie apocalypse is no time to be vague!

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Fri, 01 Jun 2012 00:25:00 -0400

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Thu, 31 May 2012 22:03:12 -0400